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Letters to our Children March

It’s blog circle time again! Follow the circle around until you arrive back here. I said this last month, but get ready to be inspired! These ladies are such talented photographers and admirable mommies. Next up, visit Laurie’s blog.

This month I am writing to my 13-year old daughter, Brooklyn. These were taken with my Lensbaby Composer Pro lens. The first image is Brooklyn and her cousin Rinny who she loves so much and knows she can always count to be there for her always.

Brooklyn Mar 2014

Dear Brooklyn,

First of all I want to compliment you on what a beautiful, unique, confident, smart, and kind young woman you are. Changes are happening in your life that you may not notice as I do, but I am enjoying the everyday as I watch you grow and mature emotionally and physically. Seventh grade is over in a few short months…phew! You survived! I remember struggling through 7th grade when I was your age, but you seem to be handling the challenges better than I did. I truly believe the strongest and most noble spirits were saved for this time on earth as you have to deal with so much more than I did at your age. But you are strong and you entered life that way. Ready to handle the challenges of your day.

We’ve had some deep discussions this year about relationships, school, and future goals that I have treasured. I love that you and I can have a heart to heart on any given day. You don’t push me away yet and I’m so grateful!

You’ve had some emotional ups and downs with friends this year. Kids that you thought were your friends deciding to turn away, or kids saying things that make you feel bad. It’s ok.  Life is full of disappointments. The good news is, we can learn and grow from these disappointments! I want to get down in writing some of the advice your dad & I have given you lately. These are things we have learned through dealing with our disappointments. I hope you will go back to this letter at a time when you are struggling and find strength in it.

10 things you can do to stay happy:

1. Just be yourself. Those who appreciate the real you are the true friends you want to have.

2. Look for friends who make you want to be better. Who show strong examples of kindness, love, and forgiveness. Not those who make you feel inferior or like you are not enough.

3. If social media makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s not worth your time! We’ve told you many times, if Instagram is affecting your self worth it’s time to delete your account. No posting selfies and monitoring the number of “likes” you get. You don’t need IG to tell you how awesome you are. Feel confident with who you are regardless what people tell you or how many “friends” you have on Facebook compared to another. Only say positive things on social media. Build people up, give compliments and they will do the same for you!

4. Accept people for who they are. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with the choices they make. But always accept them and show kindness. Even when they are different from you. Never judge. You never know what people are going through at the time. Your smile towards a lonely classmate could really make a difference that day for them.

5. Stand up for what you believe in. Even when it’s hard. Chances are, friends around you will be grateful you were the one to speak up first in a bad situation. Be that example.  Be consistent with your choices so people can trust you and always know with confidence of your true character and the values you stand for.

6. Remember your family and what it means to be a Bacher. I hope you will always feel a sense of pride and gratitude to be a member of our family. And remember, we will always be grateful and proud of you, no matter what! Your family is always there for you.

7. Homework….get it done, stay on top of it, don’t procrastinate! Your education is very important and your future depends on it. Although you hate Math and don’t find learning about ratios and fractions applicable to life, keep on learning. It will only get harder the more you disengage. As you practice, you will feel more confident and ready to tackle harder problems. The more you apply yourself, the quicker you will progress in school. Such is the same in life. 

8. Don’t hold grudges. They will burden you and steal your happiness. Take care of a bad situation quickly before it gets worse. Be the one to forgive quickly, or admit your mistakes, at least for your sake…so you can move on and be happy again.

9. Don’t set expectations about how you think people should act around you. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment if you do. People don’t know how to act unless you tell them or show them by example. The only person you can control is you, and your attitude. Your happiness does not depend on others. YOU are the one who can make choices that will bring you happiness.

10. Show gratitude and respect to your elders and to those who go out of their way to do something nice for you. Recognize that even the little things like offering you a ride home from dance requires your friend’s mom to go out of her way. Always say thank you. It goes a long way. And don’t forget to thank your Heavenly Father for your blessings and you will be given more!

OK that’s all I have for you today. Love you my sweet.

Love & Hugs, Mom

  • BarbMarch 27, 2014 - 9:27 am

    Wow! I absolutely love the first one! The lighting is AMAZING!!!!! Your daughter sounds like a wonderful girl and the words you wrote to her are beautiful. And they are a great reminder, not just to her, but to everyone on how to blossom in this world we live in today.ReplyCancel

  • LaurieMarch 27, 2014 - 3:02 pm

    Jen, I know you well enough to know you are a great mom. Your kids are so lucky to have you. I hope Brooklyn reads this and tells you what a great mom you are. I dread middle school for my kids…it is a tough time, but you have given some great advice 🙂 What a sweet beautiful girl you have! Love the pictures. The colors are so pretty!ReplyCancel

    • JenniferMarch 28, 2014 - 9:55 pm

      Thanks Laurie! I would say the same things about you! You just wait. Hopefully Delia won’t drive you to drink when she’s in middle school…lol! It’s fun watching your kids grow up, but scary too as the world gobbles them up.ReplyCancel

  • CourtneyMarch 28, 2014 - 7:34 am

    Oh, can I save this for when my kids are in 7th grade. I love the list you created for her. Especially the social media on. I can’t imagine how our children how to grow up with that kind of comparison always in their face. Such a beautiful letter. She is lucky to have such a wise mama. And you rocked the Lensbaby with these. She is just beautiful!ReplyCancel

    • JenniferMarch 28, 2014 - 9:57 pm

      Thanks Courtney! You’re in for a real treat when your girls get to be this age. Fun and frightening at the same time!ReplyCancel

  • amyMarch 29, 2014 - 10:32 am

    Just beautiful Jen! Such important words to teach our daughters. I especially love the one about social media. Thanks for sharing these great words! You are such a good Mommie and such a great example! Proud to know such a great lady! Love you my friend:)ReplyCancel

  • KiraMarch 29, 2014 - 11:12 am

    Beautiful lensbaby shots, and especially beautiful words. So many of the things I want my kids to internalize, especially during the teenage years. Your daughter is beautiful!ReplyCancel